You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
as a side note pls kill me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
