it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
