i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
