You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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