I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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