He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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