Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
