Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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