just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
