My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize