McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
