you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
