What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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