I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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