I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
