I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
