Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
