white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
