If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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