I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
