Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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