I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
