I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
