this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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