its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize