11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize