Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
