Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
