I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I came so hard my ears popped.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize