Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
