you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
