And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
