guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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