why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
