The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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