Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
