Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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