You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
