Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
