More tranny stories later!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
