Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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