your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
