I wish i was in the wii world.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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