So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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