My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
