the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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