if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
