she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
