As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
