this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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