I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
