The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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