How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
