The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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