my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
How's work?
Spinning.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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