she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
