Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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