He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
