i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
