Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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