The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
