I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize