I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
