Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
