only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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