I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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